TWIB: The Chi of J.T.

Ever noticed that José Mesa (aka Joe Table, aka J.T.) looks a lot like Chi McBride? Yeah, neither did we until we sat down to write This Week In Barajas. In case you were living under a table, Mesa brought his Barajas number down to 1 immediately following a dominant performance by your boy, who called nine innings of shutout, 11-K ball against the Royals. If Lieber can follow simple directions and be a star, thought J.T. so can I. Boston Public? The table will school your ass.

Other Barajas numbers unearthed:
1 - Chad Johnson
1 - Curtis Montague Schilling
2 - Justin Verlander
2.5 - Your mom
3 - Michael Cera
3 - Nick Markakakakakakis
3 - Tony Sop—
4 - Jason Bourne

Haiku of the Week:
Dear Jose Reyes,
Don't even think about it.
— R.R. Barajas

Word of the Week
"incommodious"

Things we learned
• Elephant herpes is real
• Barajas eats huevos con scrapple before every game.
• Sometimes he leaves the huevos and just eats the scrapple.
• Other times he leaves the scrapple and just eats the huevos.
• 20 other things

Video of Joe Pesci With His Head On Fire

T.W.I.B. Notes (This Week In Barajas)

A weekly recap of our Barajas-ing.

Barajas' Weekly Line
2-7, 3BB, 1R, 1 2B, 2K
(.286, .500!!, .429)
Phillies went 4-2, 1-1 in ya boy's starts

Barajas numbers unearthed
Madrid Barajas International Airport: 1
Gary Sheffield: 2
Carlos Zambrano: 2
Billy Donovan: 3
Dr. Jack Kevorkian: 3
Satchel Paige: 4
LeBron James: 6
MLB Draft: N/A

Facts Learned
• Price of a Rod Barajas Signed Ball on eBay: $29.99!
• Rod Barajas rolls thick with Starbucks, wad of cash (see above)!
• Rod Barajas sports a higher on base percentage in 2007 than super slugger Sammy Sosa!
• Rod Barajas has a higher career fielding percentage at first base than 10-time Gold Glove winner Keith Hernandez!
• Rod Barajas once defeated David Eckstein in a hot dog eating contest!
• Rod Barajas has more career stolen bases than Hall of Famer Hoyt Wilhelm!
• Rod Barajas is currently tied for the all-time lead in home runs during the month of November!
• And 23 other things!

T.W.I.B. Notes (This Week In Barajas)

Barajas made some headlines this week when, against the Florida Marlins, he let Hanley Ramirez slide underneath him during a four-run ninth inning, pushing the game to extra innings when it otherwise would have been over. R.B.: "It was a mess." Your boy took a lot of heat for the play, but the Phillies won, and the haters forgot the first rule of Barajas: Don't Hassle The 'Jas. Why not? Here's why not: the following night, Barajas went 2-for-3 with a two-bagger in the Phils' loss to the Fish. Wild out. He followed that up with a perfect 0-for-4 performance against the Braves, and made a quiet out as a pinch hitter Monday against the Snakes. Fun fact: Barajas and his .351 OBP caught snakes with his bare hands growing up in Ontario. Asps. For real.